I have been to many AA meetings in my life and for the last 20 years have found a home in our own group called simply Christians against drugs (CAD). What I have found through personal experience is that a lot of time is spent on relating our behaviour in the past, I wish to remedy that with this post and perhaps subsequent posts, of how I achieved and maintained sobriety over the last twenty years.
I never spent any time in a rehab centre, this is my own story and is not meant to be followed step-by-step or as some sort of recovery handbook, rather take from it that what may be of use to you and discard what may not.
The AA places a lot of emphasis on a “Higher Power” and the CAD being a Christian movement in South Africa on the Christian definition of God. My approach has always been, that no matter who you believe in is entirely your own affair. I have also not pushed this idea too much, as one progresses through the journey called sobriety, the walls that you have built up will come tumbling down and you will gain a clearer understanding of what your spiritual needs are.
I can only relate what worked for me. On day one of my sobriety, the pangs of addiction were very great, and I remember saying to myself, “I will not take a drink for the next hour”. I did this hour by hour for the next couple of days. Was it easy, no! But I found it easier to do it this way than to dwell on the fact that I had to stop for a whole day or a whole week.
I kept a diary from day one, writing down every thought that went through my mind that day. This helped me analyse my thoughts and also to mark down with big red letters. ONE DAY SOBER and so it went on.
On the fourth day of my sobriety, I went to my first meeting. A room full of strangers but with the same problem as me. At this time I could barely say boo to a goose, so I remained silent and answered only when directly spoken too.
To write of all my experiences would require an entire book, so here are some tips I learnt along the way.
Change your routine. Get up an hour earlier, drive a different way to work, eat at a different hour. This basically is a form of reprogramming your brain. Certain actions spark cravings, driving past your liquor outlet or sitting down in your favourite armchair after supper. Changing your routine changes habits and builds new pathways in the brain. You will find that many of your “friends” will no longer visit you. It’s OK they weren’t true friends if they stay away. A sober lifestyle will mean many new friends that have your interests at heart.
Most of the struggles that I faced were internal conflicts, the AA calls this kind of thinking “stinking thinking”, I went through phases of denial but stuck to the “not today” rule.
It has worked for me.
Lastly in this post, I want to talk about medication. Be open with your GP, if you need anti-depressants, use them. If you feel that a drug like Antabuse would be of help, use it. I have seen too many people wanting to “tough it out” fail. It is good to have faith but modern medical science has its advantages. If you found this post helpful, feel free to email it to your friends or use it in whichever way you like.
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Our motto is: Carpe diem – Seize the day. If you have a problem, do something now. Tomorrow may be too late.
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You may be interested in my previous post
Images - Pixabay or personal
Thank you for spreading the word and the wisdom.
I should rather thank you for reading, commenting and upvoting my post. If I can touch one life then I am a happy man. Enjoy your day. You have a new follower.
As one who once battled addiction alone, I submit this for your consideration.
A deeply moving testimony. We all need to come to the realisation that we cannot heal on our own. I have been "sober" not dry for 20 years. I realise that I could never have made it on my own. Our organization is called the CAD - Christians against drugs, which hopefully is self explanatory. Carpe diem
Just wow! Thank you for sharing something so personal, by coming this far and sharingbyour story you might just help someone else, someone who needs a gentle nudge in just the right direction. You are very much an inspiration!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I made a promise on the 10th March 1997, I intend to keep it. I cannot imagine going back to that old life again.
Thanks for sharing...
I have been very impressed by a book of Jan Geurtz, a Dutch guy, was called "Past addiction" or something. I really advice having a look at it if you want to keep walking the same path as we need to see lots of underlying playing forces to come to the necessary awareness so that it will never popup again. With love, bub.
Thank you very much for your comment, I will most certainly look for the book.
I know from experience that the danger of relapse is always present. I am glad that you found use in my post.
Thank you for this post @petruska13. The change of the routine is very insightful. Please explain to me the "not today" rule.
Hi there,
When an addict makes a commitment to stop drinking or drugging it very often appears as a huge mountain he has to climb. In many cases the problems seem so great that they take on insurmountable proportions. An example, a very South African one, may be: "You mean I will never be able to have a beer with my braai?" May seem trivial to a non-drinker but to the alcoholic it becomes a veritable mountain. Therefore we apply the "not today" rule. I will not take a drink today. Tomorrow lies in God's hands. Tomorrow he re-affirms his vow, I will not drink (or drug) today. The days stretch into weeks, the weeks into years but we always re-affirm every day -Not today. As time goes by the insurmountable does not appear so extreme anymore and the alcoholic later realises that he can have a braai, go to a dance and enjoy himself/herself without their drug of choice. That is what is meant by the "Not today" rule. Hope this helps.
Yes thank you for explaining.
It is my pleasure.
Thank you for explaining, I thought I did comment on your answer. I just shared this yesterday with my son. He also has an alcohol problem.
It's probably me getting confused :)
Thanks for sharing!
It is my pleasure. If I can touch one life out there, it has been worthwhile.
That's how it spreads :)