After President Trump attempted to re-brand his border wall as "artistically designed steel slats" last month, he tweeted this morning, quote, "Let's just call them walls from now on and stop playing political games," adding, "A wall is a wall." Hey, you were the guy who wanted to call it "slats". This is like Diddy tweeting out, "My name is Sean Combs, damn it!" President Trump today touted his achievements in office, saying, quote, "I accomplished the military." Trump knows so little about the military, he doesn't even know how to use it in a sentence.
"I accomplished the military. I boom-boomed the nukes. I bang-banged the guns." Prosecutors have announced that they seized several years' worth of communications from former Trump advisor Roger Stone during his arrest last weekend, including Stone's Apple iCloud accounts, e-mail accounts, cell phones, and -- aw, man -- are we gonna see his peen? I don't...I don't want to see Roger Stone's peen. I mean, it's bad enough we got to look at his crazy caveman head. Spare us the peen! In an interview this week, a former Trump Organization executive said that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is a better deal-maker than President Trump. Said Trump, " Oh, yeah? If she's so good, how come I got all these magic beans?" A man in Japan recently claimed to have dated a cockroach for over a year that he named Lisa.
The man said, "Lisa really hit it off with his friends and family, especially his aunt. According to reports, Ben Affleck will no longer play Batman in the next Batman movie. It turns out, producers found a more-convincing guy to play a rich weirdo with no parents. A woman running a marathon in Thailand reportedly found a lost puppy during the race and continued to carry the dog while running the remaining 19 miles. It...sounds nice, until you realize she just carried the puppy 19 miles further away from home. "Baxter?! Baxter! You don't think one of those runners picked up Baxter?" "Don't be ridiculous!" A new...
A new study suggests that a parasite found in cat pee can be linked to schizophrenia. Finally, a reason to stop drinking cat pee. And finally, a man in England claims that his penis swelled to the size of a wine bottle recently after fracturing his urethra. When asked how he was treating it, the man said, "New pants." .
As found on Youtube
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