Short Account on how Vape helped me through my pain... I guess I find Hive that comfortable to share this now

Right! I know it is not good for one's health, even if they advertise vaping as less harmful than your usual cigarettes. I am not here to encourage people to start using it if you haven't tried it... this is mainly a post as to how it helped me through the pains brought on by my depression and anxiety.

Before my depression and attacks worsened, I was also one of those who were cynic towards cigarettes. I even avoid secondhand smoke. I never thought that I would be a smoker in my entire life.

But weeks after my release from a psychiatric facility for attempted self-harm, my panic attacks and depression worsened to the point of no reprieve. I can barely breathe through the pain of knowing nothing of my future and the endless battering of reality telling me that I was back in the real world.

Almost nothing worked. I thought of cutting to get by, which can be dangerously addicting. And right then, my friend showed up with a delivery of my very first vape.

It was a frozen pink flavor. And it comes with a cute and convenient package (not the outer box coz that could be scary, btw). It was user-friendly for someone like me who never tried it.

At first, I just coughed at it. But after many tutorials, I've learned how to use it properly. How to make puffs feel so good. To make the nicotine reach your brain for the medium-high I need.

And as harmful as it was to my lungs, it was the reprieve I needed to deal with my suicidal thoughts and depression.

Now I'm on my 3rd vape (technically the 2nd one was all messed up that I wasn't able to use it) and I can say that it is the only friend I have when I look at the afternoon scenery and face the fact that I am just so alone. Alone in the world, feeling so stupid and hopeless.

I promised myself that I would just use it for a season until February next year. I won't be addicted to it. Given my weak lungs, I cannot afford to make it my lifestyle. But until then, I would make the most out of this experience and the rest it gives me through my attacks.

Again, I do not recommend anyone using vape, especially if you haven't tried it. This is just a short account of how it helped blunt my depression so I can have the energy to do daily tasks well, like writing.

As they say, not all things that feel good are actually good for you. This is my story of how I was given a chance to deal with my depression and pain, with the least harmful alternatives out there. You gotta admit it, I could have found a far worse reprieve...

Thank you for reading it. Here's to hoping you have a healthier alternative out there when dealing with the overwhelming pain of life...