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I was born in an amazing family of 9 kids as a 5th.
Life was good, every year we traveled to a sea, I had all the things a child would want.
But I didn’t like to learn to read and write, my parents could not teach me as well as teachers…
I went to school In 2000, unable to read and write but the first day I learned how to do it.
Anyway, after a few months I began to worry that I was stupid and unable to learn anything. Subjects and the teachers were so boring that I could not concentrate and learn anything...
So I began to worry even more, that in the future I will never find a wife, never a good job, because I thought I was so stupid.
To run away from scary thoughts I started to play computer games day and night, spent all time with my friends playing and having fun. Many of my relatives criticized me for it and later I started to criticize myself as well, but I didn’t push myself to learn harder.
Instead I tried to run away from learning at school and doing the right things.
I did the worst thing that almost killed me later,
I imagined the worst future for myself. Where I was broke, alone, everybody hated me, there was no life… and I cried almost every night for about 7 years…
Now I understood that I programmed my mind for a failure, by mistake I hypnotized myself for the worst.
But that time, I was not aware of that. Even worse, I was so shy that could not tell anyone about my worries.
My vision started to realize itself.
I was at the same class for about 3 years at school. I worried about it a lot, but haven’t done anything to solve that problem.
I found a strange solution, I decided if I am so stupid than I don’t deserve life and should die young.
My parents gave life to 9 kids I was 5th. So they didn’t have much time for everyone, they tried to give their best. I needed help, I wanted to be understood but I never tried to explain my worries and fears to anyone...
At the age of 11, because my friends were older than me, I started to drink alcohol, fight with other guys every time I could, but, no one killed me... I tried to throw under the car a few times but with no success. At the age of 12 I started to work and spent all money to buy unhealthy food and some alcohol.
For many years I lived in a deep depression. I ate bad unhealthy food, played computer games, wasted my time with other guys like me. The worst of all, I convinced myself so deeply that there is no future for me, that I decided that some day I will kill myself. Where did I learn such a method? In a movie…
Again, I was so shy that no one knew what was in my mind, no my parents nor my friends. I never shared my worries, doubts, fears with anyone. I just suffered alone….
For many years, at night I stood on the window of the 13th floor, ready to jump to end my misery… But the thought that I have parents sisters and brothers kept me back and I used to go to bed very depressed, I worried that I was so stupid that could not even end my stupid and miserable life...
July 29, 2009 could be the last day in my life.
I woke up in reanimation the day after, confused, with no memory about what had happened.
I shouted as hard as I could a doctor came …
5 days later I saw my parents, they came to me… I remember those days very badly…
My memory came back. That day July 29, 2009 I drunk the whole day with my friends. I came home sober but frustrated, because I knew alcohol was a bad thing, that’s why I criticized and blamed myself for drinking. At home I met my parents and sisters and I could not look them in the eyes, no one in my family used alcohol everyone was living a healthy life. So I thought for everybody would be better if I die, so I wrote my last letter to my family, a message to my brother and with tears in my eyes jumped down from 13th floor…
I realized this 5 days after and here are my thoughts about it at the time: “oh shit, I did it. My God, I am so stupid that could not even kill myself correctly… How the hell I am going to look in the eyes to my parents to my sisters and brothers? I should finish what I started. The floor in the hospital was 3th, so I thought previous method won’t work.
I thought the best way to end my life would be to hang myself on the chandelier, but luckily I was unable to move…
How doctors cured my mental illness by mistake.
Every day in the hospital different doctors came to me. Everyone wanted to see a guy who dropped out of 13th floor and stayed alive.
They were saying to me the same thing - Have you dropped out of 13th floor and stay alive? You are lucky, you are very lucky. The kept coming and saying the same thing to me over and over.
Well, after a few days I started to think that I am really lucky. So I thought to myself what the hell I was doing with my life all the years? Why I procrastinated on what I really wanted? Why I wasted my life in front of TV, computer, with so called friends? I am lucky, I should enjoy life!
Laying half dead, feeling pain physical and moral pain I decided to live, to live fully. To follow my dreams, to do the things I want to do, to follow my passion.
Of course, my body was damaged I have broken my femur, my liver broke in half but doctors took care of me and I had to lay in bed for 3 months to recover…
I had plenty of time to dream about things I want, about the person I will become, about the things I will do. The most important thing I have done, I admitted to myself that I was really stupid. If I wasted the first 14 years of my life on alcohol, computer games and TV.
So to become smarter I started to study psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, self - help, ancient literature and much more.
Magic happens. I started to do kickboxing, it was one of my dreams to become a champion, and 6 months after I became a champion in my city, I finished the school easily.
When I studied books of successful entrepreneurs I understand who I want to be. My relatives wanted to put me into a university. But my favorite book was written by a British billionaire “Screw It, let's do it”
The author haven't been to university. So I asked myself the hard question, do I want to get a degree to work for someone else or start my own business? The choice was obvious.
At the age of 16 I started my first business, I failed and ended up in debt, I failed in my second business. I tried many things but there was more failures than successes… but one thing was always with me, faith that everything happens for me and for good.
At the age of 19 I met my wife, now we have two kids and live in beautiful life. I have a few streams of income and enjoy life as never before.
The moral of the story.
I transformed my life with the same method I used to destroy it. Every day I imagine what I want, the best future, best myself. I feel so happy and grateful for my talents and abilities I imagine what I want and go for it.
What changed my life? Open mind and continues learning.
Thanks for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it.