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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Walking Home
Walking Home "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Half Full
Half Full The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Defendant
Defendant "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Bus
Bus Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan…
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Done
Done After they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells, "HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Not Mine
Not Mine "Not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine...."
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Plane
Plane Stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom. The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Hospital
Hospital Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Boy
Boy When they get bored by theirs!
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Parrot
Parrot ""How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Sex Shop
Sex Shop "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Dentist
Dentist The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Tit say
Tit say I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Priest
Priest At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that’s twice you’ve called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?" "Yes," says…
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Psychiatrist
Psychiatrist He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
At Court
At Court At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any…
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Gardening
Gardening Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
Confession
Confession “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
3 Daughters
3 Daughters The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck… --" and the farmer shot him.
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mudpuddle (46)in #funny • 6 years ago
War Warrior
War Warrior Younger lady: But please leave our grand mother. Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.
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