Sometimes seemingly small unimportant things aren't want they seem on reflection. And when that happens, you try so hard to turn back the clock only to realise what's wrong can't be undone.
Today I went on a day out by bus. The bus went through part of the city I seldom go. There were many small independent shops, something we see less and less nowadays. I was admiring how beautiful many of the shop owners had decorated their shop front. It was a busy road, and we were stuck in the traffic. We were stationary next to an art shop, I think it was called the Fig Shop.
A man and two children came out from the Fig Shop. I'm guessing father and kids. The elder child, a girl, was around 8 or 9 and had this aura of a kind, well mannered child. She was wearing an orange jacket, had shoulder length wavy hair and a lovely smile. Almost angelica as if she had been sent to this world to bring joy and happiness to everyone at Christmas. She reminded me of this child in a photo I took 10 years ago. This is one of my favourite photos.
The girl saw our bus stuck in traffic, smiled and waved at us. It was so sweet and infectious. She was like a ray of sunshine glowing on this cold winter morning. I smiled back but I don't know if she saw me. I doubt she did as I wasn't directly in front of her. She continued to wave but based on her reaction, I don't think she got any response from anyone on the bus. Then she and her family walked towards their car, and our bus edged a little forward parallel to them. She was still smiling at us, and again I smiled back. This time she didn't wave. I felt her smile wasn't as radiant as before. Like it had a sense of anticipation and disappointment.
Our bus drove off and that was the last I saw of the little girl. This little episode bothered me a lot during the rest of my journey.
Here was a little girl, reaching out spreading love and kindness to strangers. When was the last time you saw someone do that? Why didn't I wave back? My hands were free, I wasn't even holding my mobile phone at that time. If a little girl can reach out to strangers, why couldn't I do that? This world has become more and more cold and distant. People rarely say hello or smile to strangers. And who is to blame? Not the child who is so innocent and see the beauty in everything and everyone. It's us. The grown ups who are supposed to guide the child through this cold complex world and teach them to make it a better place.
I am so angry with myself for my lack of response to the little girl. I'm so angry that I didn't return a simple gift to her. What if her experience today has changed her outlook in this world? What if she stops spreading her infectious smile and kindness. What if she turns into another apathetic cold stone like so many of us? We have totally failed her. I have totally failed her.
No matter how hard I try, I can't turn back the clock. I can't give her the loving wave that she so deserves to thank her for brightening up my day. I can only pass it on the next child who teaches me how to make this a better and more loving world.
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I read your title as "I failed as a child" 😂 But, luckily, that wasn't the real title...
Maybe she waved to the little boy behind your seats?
Jokes aside, children are indeed so pure and innocent and sometimes we don't pay attention to these small things that could be important to them... Just had a similar situation at home, but the kid is a bit older than 10... Adolescent, he doesn't need anyone... But, when we forget about something important to him, it's the end of the world... :) Not making excuses for forgetting things, as I'm guilty as charged... Luckily, we fixed the issue...
Children do understand that grownups have their issues and worries, so I would say that the little girl has forgiven you for sure... We can't protect them from everything as much as we would like to...
I had to quickly go and check my title! Phew!
I just feel so bad that I ignored her. She deserved better, and I can't get over it. Dunno why I feel this way, I don't know her, is unlikely ever to see her again and it was just a minute of my life. This isn't how we should treat a child, lesson learnt and to remember for me.
That's the most important! To learn from it and try to do better next time!
We are so immersed in our own lives that we ignore or simply do not give importance to those little details, the bible is not wrong when it says that we should be like children they have no evil this leaves you a great lesson thanks for sharing blessings
Greetings
Sometimes we have much to learn from children, their simplicity and honesty is something we tend to lose as we grow up and old.
Thank you
That's pretty sad. I have a bunch of these kind of situations where I could have reacted a certain way - or at all - where as in reality I didn't. Tons of times where I think of a past conversation and wish I'd said something different - or at all.
These things happen, and the important thing to do is learn and be aware next time.
Also, in a way, the experience may have made her a little bit jaded/ closed off. Or, the situation could have had a positive effect on her life, like learning not to do something nice to expect nice stuff back in return. To be able to give a smile, a wave, and shine some light into a strangers day without expecting them to do the same.
Often times, things that seem negetive on the surface can actually be pretty positive in ways we'll never know.
It's funny how a snap moment can make one think so much about life and relationship. And I guess I'll never know what, if any impact this had on her, hope none negative.
In Pakistan, this issue is nonexistent. In Islamic culture, people say 'Assalamu Alaikum' when they pass near each other. Not everyone does it, but it's a religious practice to greet and bless everyone. If a kid passes me a smile, I will smile back at them.
Although, upon deeper examination of society, in certain conditions, it is present here too but is too little to observe. If you ever get a chance to visit Pakistan, it's like a different world. The problems here are too different to consider a stranger's smile as a threat (conditions apply).
Pakistan is such a remote country, not so much distance wise, but culture. I'm sure of I ever get a chance to visit, it will be a real eye opener
The good thing is now you will be better for next time. My wife is really good at greeting people with a good morning or something like that. I am more introverted and like to just go about my business.
Some people are really good at connecting with people, we definitely need more of them in this world
I think it is the social characteristics of an individual, part of the explanation for the moral and human corruption that we can all perceive. I read your post twice as much as I loved it. I send you a hug.
Thanks. The little girl obviously has a beautiful and warm character and enjoys connecting with others, that was so sweet of her
Thank you so much for your kindness and for your words.
I can just imagine how you feel and I would've felt just as terrible, if not worse. You already feel bad about it so berating you for something that has happened to a lot of us and some of us even more than once, won't make sense.
So I'll just say that we learn every day and this experience has taught us to return a smile to kid. Make their day somehow, the best way we can. I hope you feel better dear.
I should have returned more than a smile. A wave would have acknowledged her kind deed, and I'm sure would have made a difference
Isn't that amazing that a photo which is 10 years ago still being preserve. Your story got to hook me on your post. 😊
I used that photo in one of my earliest post as I think it's so beautiful how she was playing in the water on tea lovely summer day.
Thanks for dropping by
Oh yes. We all are so well educated in having distance and no emotions for strangers. Maybe when you we're a little child, you had a similar experience? Probably everyone of us had, so we learned to not move our hands up for a wave.
Rarely see people smile on the street. Or singing! When was the last time you heard somebody just singing for the joy of it?
I don't know what got over me, that I just sat there looking and didn't respond. It's such a shame.
If anybody starts singing on the street and not busking, people would either think a/ they're out of their mind, or b/ there's a secret camera somewhere playing a prank on the audience 😵
We have one of the garbage men, wich sings from time to time when they Drive by. First time I heard him, I realized that noone ever sings
But you were smiling back. You might be, being a little harsh on yourself. And you can wave next time !
Actually, I don't know if I was smiling because I found her action so sweet or if it was a return smile to her.
Next time I'll definitely be more reactive and wave back
Unfortunately times changed drastically, we majority of humans are carrying the attitude and expression of disappointment and tiredness, and collectively passing on this kind of energy.
So true, we rarely engage or even look at strangers in their eyes now. Every one seems so cold
Sounds true.
Despite the fact the you were a miserably old scrooge git, you really were. You know it now, and are berating yourself so pack it up and move on with this thought...
Gratification or results aren't always instant. The little girl will come to realise, that although she didn't get much instant joy returned, she actually got a huge return over time as you, after initially screwing up and thinking about it, will in future, always wave back and try to spread some joy. All because of that little girl.
Little girl did good. You repented and will do good in future.
Now stop being self-pitying and enjoy Christmas.and think about your poor old mate who's supposed to be on holiday. I'm cleaning gutters today. Yesterday I jet washed the drive, the wife's in bed with flu and my bloody mother hasn't made me a meat and tattie pie yet! Woah betide any one who tries to give me a cute wave and a smile today!
G.A.F. I. Y. Grumpy as fuck in Yorkshire ;-)
So very true.
That's the whole point of you coming back! To do all these chores for mama Martin. And when you're done, do a few posts! Lazy bugger!!! Gonna tell your mum, no post no tea for you!!
Hope the missus get well soon.
Reading your blog, reminds me of the times I've missed to connect with someone. I've felt bad before when missing a chance to be kind to someone. Let's all try to spread positivity. Thank you for sharing this reminder.◉‿◉
A little kindness can have a knock on effect, I think we definitely need to do that more
Don't be so hard on yourself. I know how you feel because I often get annoyed with myself because I don't react in the moment as I would have liked to. But I think that at the end of the day, the important thing is how that girl's gesture made you reflect.
It is so true that sometimes we are so immersed in our thoughts and our lives that we don't pay attention to those around us. And indeed the world is getting colder and more apathetic in general, but I also think sometimes it's a cultural thing to pass from the other. People here use to say hello to strangers if you are in a public place. If you are in a queue, people will try to engage you in conversation. And for those who are not used to it, it may even seem that people are a bit nosy, hehe.
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Aw, your compassion here makes my world go around..
Also, wave at small children, biiiiatch! Just kidding. Sometimes we just don't think of it. But now you will, and that matters xx
Such a beautiful post 📯 @livinguktaiwan we are becoming more involved in our lives. We are growing individually, but the truth is we should be grow together as a society ❤️ We are lacking a basic connection, we should all go for🐑
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Don't beat yourself up, but do wave next time - I do, way more excitedly than I should really :)