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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
5 miles
I named my dog "5 miles", so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Doing nothing
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Skills
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Shape
I'm in shape... Unfortunately, it's the shape of a potato.
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Clock
Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Birth certificate
Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate? He accidently smoked it.
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
TV show
What is Barack Obamas favorite TV show? Game of Drones.
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Picture
One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is when you were younger. Comedian Mitch Hedberg
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Grow old
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
One look at this planet
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.' William S. Burroughs
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
He who laughs last
"He who laughs last didn't get the joke." - Charles de Gaulle
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Experience
"We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience." - George Bernard Shaw
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
President
"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
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goooood (34)in #funny • 7 years ago
Dog’s IQ
"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you." - Jay Leno
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
Jay Leno
“The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.” – Jay Leno
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goooood (34)in #life • 7 years ago
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening
"One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening." - Franklin P. Jones
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goooood (34)in #halloween • 7 years ago
Happy Halloween
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goooood (34)in #introduceyouself • 7 years ago
GOOOOOD
Hi everyone Let me introduce myself for short. My name is Daniel. I work for a famous company. We develop marketing and PR strategy. I'm in PR as a manager. I've been studying…
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